The NSA Files
by E1craZ4life
Summary: Transcripts of the NSA files on disc 2 of The Incredibles 2-disc pack.
1. Introduction

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES  
** Introduction

* * *

 **Agent Rick Dicker, File 93718. The files of the National Supers Agency are hereby sealed in accordance with the Super Hero Restriction Act, banning all Supers activity. These files contain highly classified information regarding the Supers, their powers, weaknesses, and (in some cases) their secret identities. Despite the government's insistence that this ban is permanent, these files should still be treated with the utmost secrecy and respect. Who knows? Maybe one day, these kids will be allowed to help people again. I sure hope so.**


	2. Apogee

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Apogee

* * *

 **Power Type:** 8  
 **Strength:** 2  
 **Endurance:** 7  
 **Intelligence:** 6  
 **Agility:** 2  
 **Indestructibility:** 3

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Gravity control  
\- Travels by solar-powered levitation  
\- Wears solar-enhancing membrane suit  
\- Powers increase as sun reaches apogee (high-noon)  
\- Weakness: absence of sunlight; clouds; eclipse

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Former member of the Thrilling Three (disbanded)  
\- Highly intelligent. Quick witted.  
\- Lacks tact; enjoys finding fault in others

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
Do we have to talk about the Thrilling Three? Y-Yes, I was part of that group, and... was well-intentioned, um... a bit misguided. You know, let's face it. It wasn't really the Thrilling Three; it was really... the Thrilling One Plus Two in Gazerbeam's mind. It was... less than thrilling. ...[laughter]... Less than thrilling, that's good. Well, let's see. I started out in Arizona, and then, uh, migrated over to Los Angeles, which was great. I had a great long run there; a lot of work to be done. A lot of Super heroes see Los Angeles as, uh, kind of a... launching ground, and... to be honest with you, I didn't have a lot of places to launch to from there. The solar-powered thing,... you know, it's... sure, it's good for the environment, but it's not so good for me. It limits my, uh, ability, it limits my work hours, it makes me look like an idiot if something happens at night, you know? Really, it's really hard when it's, uh, when it's nighttime for me because I'm a rather social person; I like to dance, I like to go out to dinner, and if something horrible happens, my power's not going on because the sun's not out, and so it - it can be frustrating at times. Unless... you know, unless evil breaks out at a tanning salon,... I'm done for.


	3. Beta Force

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Beta Force

* * *

 **Focus: Street Level Crime**  
\- Leader: not applicable  
\- Tactical: shock and awe  
(-) Blazestone: takes them down by using pyrotechnic powers  
(-) Universal Man: flushes them out by creating confusion and panic  
\- Effective operations: night only  
\- Team headquarters: abandoned World's Fair pavilion; statue of Atlas  
\- Notes: paired together by NSA as part of Blazestone's rehabilitation. These two will be great if they don't kill each other first


	4. Blazestone

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES  
** Blazestone **  
**

* * *

 **Power Type:** 6 **  
Strength:** 3 **  
Endurance:** 3 **  
Intelligence:** 4 **  
Agility:** 6 **  
Indestructibility:** 2

* * *

 **Powers:  
** \- Pyrotechnic kinetic discharge  
\- Heat control and heat resistance  
\- Flies by riding on heated air  
\- Weakness: water and below-zero temperatures

* * *

 **Personality:  
** \- Team affiliation: Beta Force  
\- Once partners with Frozone, but relationship ran hot and cold; sassy  
\- Arrested and jailed, recruited by NSA; watch closely to ensure she operates within NSA guidelines

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
 _I am very independent. I don't - I don't need helicopters, I don't need airplanes; I can heat the air underneath me and lift right up. And I don't have equipment; the flames come straight out of me. What a waste. So, some Super heroes have equipment, and I think that's just a waste; you have to maintain it all the time. I just have my Super suit, and that's about it. I - I like my independence, you know? The NSA knows that I'm very independent, and... you know, a team, you know,... surrounding, you know, they do look after me,... which is good and everything. You know, they always have to keep an eye on me, and,... I mean, I don't know why. I mean, I only light a couple things on fire that I shouldn't light on fire; I mean, it's not my fault. I mean, it is very hard to, you know, keep everything under wraps. Sometimes, my temper, you know, I can get a little bit hot-headed, but not much. I mean,... when I think about things that kind of anger me, just a little bit, you know, and then... BOOM! You know, the-the-the building lights on fire, and then... next thing you know, the hills light on fire, and then, I'm like "Okay..." and then Frozone has to come along and, you know, cool everything down, and ...[sigh]... and then I have to be grateful and say "Oh, thank you, Frozone. I really appreciate it." But, you know, he's just... he's really annoying and he thinks he's all that. I do enjoy being independent, you know? They recognize that, and... I love my powers and,... you know, I don't have to carry any equipment on me, and I really enjoy that._ (C-Could you... Could you say that again?) _W-Wait, what? You want me to say the whole thing again? I thought we were completely clear. You want me to go back and do the whole thing? I don't understand._ (laughing) OH-hohohoho! Okay! I am so sorry; I-I know what the problem is! I k... I keep on forgetting which dimension I'm in. Wait, which... w-which dimension am I in?


	5. Downburst

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Downburst

* * *

 **Power Type:** 4  
 **Strength:** 1  
 **Endurance:** 5  
 **Intelligence:** 3  
 **Agility:** 4  
 **Indestructibility:** 2

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Atomic manipulation: ability to reshape matter  
\- Creates transportation devices from available material  
\- Cannot reshape matter into complex forms  
\- Reshaping organics limited to healing small wounds

* * *

 **Personality:  
** \- Continuing NSA training to develop ability to reshape matter into complex manufactured objects (current focus: bicycle)  
\- Unrequited crush on Blazestone. Dislikes Frozone; do not bring up in conversation

* * *

 **Audio File:  
** Uh, my powers are atomic density manipulation. Uh, ability to reshape matter. Say, you have a-a cut or a boo-boo... uh, on your arm. I-I can, you know, I can probably do something about that. I'm not exactly a BandAid; I'm a little bit better than that, I'll actually heal it. You know, so, I got my start in - in a doctor's office, actually. It seemed like a good place to start at the time, but... it's pretty boring there, actually. And, uh, I got a little tired of it. You know, the... the doctors, they... didn't appreciate what I was doing as much anymore and... y'know, I wanted something a little sexier, y'know, than just, uh... cleaning up wounds. So, I, uh, thought I would try this, uh, this whole Super hero thing, see how that went for me. Currently, I'm f... I'm focusing in on trying to reshape different materials into bicycles. I-It's - It's sort of a hobby. I'm starting to gain some acceptance within the Super hero community. I've gone to conferences and stuff, and... uh, y'know, at first, I started in the back of the room, just sort of as an onlooker, and now... I-I have my own, you know, I have a table I get to sit at now. Some - Some heroes talk to me; I... you know, especially if they - they want a bicycle.


	6. Dynaguy

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Dynaguy

* * *

 **Power Type:** 6  
 **Strength:** 3  
 **Endurance:** 3  
 **Intelligence:** 2  
 **Agility:** 6  
 **Indestructibility:** 1

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Disintegration ray disrupts atomic force among atoms  
\- Flight powered by ion propulsion gauntlets  
\- Limited range for disintegration; object must be closer than 5 meters

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Original member of the Thrilling Three (replaced after death by Gazerbeam)  
\- Impulsive and reckless; NSA meditation regimen  
\- Died in action; suit malfunction  
\- NSA ion propulsion gauntlets recovered (reassign?)

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
Being a Super hero, the... one of the first things you gotta do is... is figure out what you want the people to call you. You know, I started out... well, let's go with the power! But... you know, "Forehead Ray Disintegration Guy",... that was too long. I... I couldn't do that every time I went out to save someone. You know, walk up to a Super villain, it's like, you know, "Stop! It's Forehead Ray Disintegration Man!" and... by then, he's already turned tail and run. So, one day, I'm... I'm having lunch in the local diner, and... and I'm really desperate. I... I haven't thought of a name yet. So, I'm just looking around. It's like... "Fork Man!" That didn't work. How about "Spoon Dude!"? Uh, "Banana Cream Pie Throwing Man!"? Uh, "Black-and-White-TV Guy!"? Uh, "Menu Mench!"? That didn't work. "The Napkin Dispenser Guy!"? Uh, I didn't really want that name. But I see the place mat, you know? It's "Ralph's Diner", and... I'm thinking maybe "Diner Guy!"? But, no, if my name's "Diner Guy", it's like I'm only protecting the diner when people come in, I-I defend the diner, and... I-I din't want to restrict myself to that. Keep thinking. "Diner G...", "Dynaguy!" That actually fit together! I thought it had a good ring to it. So, I started saying it to myself, and it's like... y'know, Dynamite, and... Dynamo, and... Dynamic, and... Dinosaur, they all sorta meant big and powerful, and I just think all those words... th-they really sounded... dynamic, which... you put 'em together, and... and you get me!


	7. Elastigirl

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Elastigirl

* * *

 **Power Type:** 3  
 **Strength:** 3  
 **Endurance:** 6  
 **Intelligence:** 7  
 **Agility:** 8  
 **Indestructibility:** 1

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Full body elasticity  
\- Functional stretch length: 30 meters  
\- Minimum thickness: 1 millimeter  
\- Strength diminishes in proportion to max. elasticity

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Aggressive go-getter; reliable  
\- Refused offer to lead new super team: Heroes Incorporated  
\- Romantically pursued by many top Supers, but "prefers her freedom"; heartbreaker

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
When you're a female Super hero, getting clothes that - that don't wear out after a couple of wearings... I mean, after one good fight, I don't want to look like a house frau,... uh, like I'm wearing a - a burlap sack. So, yeah, I've spent so much money. I've been broke trying to put together a good wardrobe f-for work! And that's just a-a li - When... when is this problem going to be solved for me? Eh, I'm - I can't wait for the day when somebody can put together a good line of action wear. You know, action wear that will be form fitting that will recover after, uh, a couple of good days of work, that can really... function, and has style. Okay, look. [trying not to cry] Look, if I do a couple of good - good moves, hold on... [stands up] If I do a couple of moves like... [whoosh] ...oh, sorry... If I do a couple of moves like this... [whoosh whoosh, sounds of grunts, stretching, more whooshes, and crashes, followed by a microphone thump] ...I'm sorry... [laughter] ...like that, I mean, l-l-look at the underarms! My armpits are, like, practically down to my knees! This is, like, very very unattractive. It's, like, bagging out around my hips. And it was looking - I w-was looking nice before! And now it's... y'know, it's, uh... maybe I'm as big as a house in this thing. Hey! ( **Well...** ) Is there someone out there? I mean, is there any, like, good wardrobe designer? I mean... ( **I might know someone who could do it.** ) Help! I'm looking for a little help here, okay? ( **Name's Edna Mode. She is a bit tough to deal with, and she won't come cheap.** ) You know what? I got a good question! How come the NSA, the National Supers Association, isn't paying for my action wear, huh?! ( **Just remember to save your receipts.** ) I don't think you guys want me playing for any other team, do you?


	8. Everseer

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Everseer

* * *

 **Power Type:** 5  
 **Strength:** 1  
 **Endurance:** 3  
 **Intelligence:** 8  
 **Agility:** 1  
 **Indestructibility:** 1

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Magnoscopic vision (microscopic and telescopic vision)  
\- Telepathy and clairvoyance  
\- Weakness: mind-reading animals, especially squirrels

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Team: Phantasmics (leader)  
\- Obsessive-compulsive; germaphobic  
\- Prefers to avoid physical contact; unmarried  
\- Shared therapist practice with Psycwave  
\- Author of "SHUT UP!: Quieting Your Inner Voice" and "BEWARE!: Unseen Dangers of the Microscopic World"

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
You see, when one is a Super hero, there's a certain catalogue of expectations that are incorporated with it, say, the physical appearance. Yes, I stay in shape. Yes, I have the colorful outfit that goes along with it. But you see, what is inside... the perception, the sensitivity, the foresight, and the psychic awareness of what is important and what makes us different! What makes us transcend mere... knocking about. Yes, I can mix it up. Oh, I can fight with the rest of them. I can... knock three people through walls if I have to. But why do that? When... through the process of the mind... you can avert conflict before it happens! I can make you perceive that I'm beating you up without even touching you! With rapier intellect! Quite frankly, there are a lot of things that come along with being a Super hero; the whacking, the battering, th-th-that I find quite unpleasant. And quite frankly, i-i-it-it's the germs! They're everywhere and they're so small! They're in saliva, and... blood, and bits of bone and tooth. There's a lot of Super villains, and frankly, they're not clean people; they don't take care of their hygiene,... I mean, you punch a mouth, and who knows what's... on you after that? I-If cleanliness is next to godliness, then ungodliness is... dirty. I can deal with a messy psyche. But... I cannot deal with a messy bathroom! I mean, _why can't people just clean up once in a while and... and wipe a sink?! Or... or... they leave hair! Don't they see it?! Don't they see the scum building up?! I mean, it is just a_ nightmare _! That you walk into someone's bathroom, and they have not_ touched _it in_ months _! And scrub and_ \- oh, are we out of time?


	9. Frozone

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Frozone

* * *

 **Power Type:** 6  
 **Strength:** 3  
 **Endurance:** 3  
 **Intelligence:** 6  
 **Agility:** 7  
 **Indestructibility:** 3

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Ice generation  
\- Wears anti-glare refraction goggles  
\- Transport by ice locomotion; ice skis, ice skates, ice discs  
\- Weakness: heat and low humidity environments

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Former partners with Blazestone (romantically?)  
\- Hot dogger  
\- Strong ties to Mr. Incredible; no formal team affiliation  
\- Tried competing in Winter Olympics as Frozone; rejected by IOC

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
I've had some mishaps as Frozone. But... generally, I've learned how to take, you know, lemons and make lemonade. You know? And I've been able to do some things for people that, uh, you know, possibly would've turned out quite badly had I not been there. You know, I've gone on vacations with, uh, friends of mine who're looking forward to a great ski vacation, and we got there, and the snow was melted. Hey, I was able to go out and make that happen. I'm like the human Zamboni. [laughter] One day, I must've been... I don't know, maybe... one-and-a-half, two years old, and I had a glass of Kool-Aid. And I really wanted a Popsicle, and in my mind, I was thinking "Popsicle", and the next thing I know, the Kool-Aid was frozen in the glass. I was, like, licking it, and from that point on, any time I wanted to freeze something, I just thought about it being frozen, and it was frozen. I was... elated. I'm a Super hero because... that's who I am, you know? I-If it was possible, I would love to just tell the world who I am and let 'em know. But then I'd have no privacy. There'd be, you know, babes lined up around my house, there'd be guys calling every day, trying to ask for a Super favor, you know how that is.


	10. Gamma Jack

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES  
** Gamma Jack

* * *

 **Power Type:** 8  
 **Strength:** 3  
 **Endurance:** 3  
 **Intelligence:** 6  
 **Agility:** 2  
 **Indestructibility:** 1

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Controlled radiation burst  
\- From focused burns to complete disintegration  
\- Maximum range of high intensity burst is 100 meters  
\- Sharp intensity falloff over distance

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Originally known as "Handsome Jack"  
\- A favorite of the ladies  
\- Prone to tyrannical/megalomaniacal impulses; believes Supers to be "a superior race"  
\- Picky eater  
\- NSA recommends close (A-level) monitoring

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
There's always gonna be, uh, a lot of collateral damage; there's lots of villains, and there's, uh, lots of villainous deeds going on at any given time. Part of my job is to prioritize... uh, which villains I'm going to combat. You know, so, uh, you know, I take a look around, I see if there's any, uh, good-looking, uh, women who need to be rescued immediately, and then I sorta start from there and work my way down the list. You know, if you've got, uh... uh, Tubby Joe Schmoe over there with, uh, a laser pointed at his head, then he might have to wait in line a little while. Yeah, I fought my, uh, my fair share of villains, and they all have their own, uh, unique challenges. You know, they got their... zombie monkeys, and their giant laser robots, and their super aquatic, uh, ninja pygmies. But I tell ya, once in a while, the real kicker is I get these dames, man. These dame villains. And they got the curves, and the hair, and the big eyes, and boy! Those ones, uh, they're really hard to kill. Uh, especially the ones where they come up and they're looking at you, and you're looking at them, and you feel that simpatico, you know? Like, uh, she's diggin' you and you're diggin' her, diggin' you, and, boy, you gotta take a jog around the block real quick and sorta get your concentration back. Compose yourself, 'cuz, uh, you know, you can't get distracted by these sort of thoughts when you're going up against a Super villain. That's one of the hard parts of the job, you know? When you come across, uh, a dame's who's really something to look at, and you just gotta let her have it, 'cuz she's a villain. Uh, yeah, those are the bad days.


	11. Gazerbeam

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Gazerbeam

* * *

 **Power Type:** 3  
 **Strength:** 3  
 **Endurance:** 7  
 **Intelligence:** 5  
 **Agility:** 2  
 **Indestructibility:** 1

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Laser gaze; shoots intense laser blasts from eyes  
\- Vision intensity focus lenses in containment helmet  
\- Transportation: the Thrilling Three chopper (motorcycle with 2 sidecars)  
\- Weakness: reflective surfaces

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Team affiliation: the Thrilling Three (now disbanded)  
\- Weak night vision; needs glasses for night driving  
\- Secret identity: inner city pro-bono lawyer  
\- No sense of humor

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
I think the question I get asked the most is what happened with the Thrilling Three. It was working fine for me; I had no problem working in groups. I think we were very successful; I think at times we may have been among the best. But a team is just that; a team. Uh, any time you take individuals and you put them in a contained environment, they tend to react like oil and water, sometimes, or peanut butter and chocolate. Although peanut butter and chocolate does taste good together, so that's actually a bad example. Uh, I quite enjoy that. I think the thing I get asked about the most, of course, is my laser vision. People tend to think it's a real picnic to have eyes that shoot lasers, but, um... believe it or not, it's had its disadvantages. If I look at anything too intently, it tends to burst into flames, which can be a real pickle in a relationship scenario. When you're conversing with somebody, a normal person would look them square in the eye; I avert my gaze, which is... often interpreted as disinterest, or rather daft or stupid, which couldn't be farther... farther from the truth. I... I'm a man of culture, a man of... a man of passion, and I would say a man of humor, which is not widely known. On the outside, I appear calm and cool, perhaps even collected; but on the inside, I'm... flying away on the steamship of hilarity. I'm not sure if that made very much sense.


	12. Hypershock

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Hypershock

* * *

 **Power Type:** 6  
 **Strength:** 6  
 **Endurance:** 5  
 **Intelligence:** 3  
 **Agility:** 2  
 **Indestructibility:** 2

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Seismic wave generation; ability to create earthquake-like disruptions (fist maximum: 6.0 Richter scale)  
\- Uses dual seismic amplification hammers (hammer maximum: unknown)  
\- Flies using vector-thrust, fusion-rocket rucksack  
\- Weakness: powers ineffectual on non-solid material

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Bad temper; requires lots of praise  
\- Fondness for drink

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
How ya doin'? I'm Hypershock. So, I have seismic wave generation, which is the ability to create earthquake-like disruptions in the ground to stop the bad guys with my dual seismic amplification hammers; I have one on each hand. No, I did not buy them at the hardware store. Ha ha. I fly around with my vector-thrust, fusion rocket rucksack getting from place to place, and my powers are ineffectual on non-solid material. But... if I can get a 6.0 on the Richter scale, I can generally stop whoever's out there, and... [sigh]... do we... do we gotta talk about this? I... I... hang on... Hey, Irv? Irv? Where's Irv? I need coffee. I need - Yes, hello! I need some coffee, very nice - no, I don't want tea; I want coffee! And... put some aspirin in it or something! How about coffee with - _made from_ aspirin! You know, you people, you just don't do your homework! And look at this! What is this? Geez, spend a little money on your gear if you're gonna have a Super in here, okay? _And you! Who are you?!_ YOU KNOW, I COULD BE OUT SOLVING CRIME _AT THE VERY LEAST, OR SOLVING THIS **HANGOVER! OOOOWWWW!**_ Aww...


	13. Macroburst

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Macroburst

* * *

 **Power Type:** 6  
 **Strength:** 1  
 **Endurance:** 6  
 **Intelligence:** 3  
 **Agility:** 7  
 **Indestructibility:** 3

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- High velocity wind generation  
\- Airborne through wind propulsion  
\- Weakness: claustrophobic

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Team affiliation: Phantasmics - supplies group transportation  
\- Prior to Phantasmics, served as sidekick to Everseer; referred to as "The Kid"  
\- Oddly androgynous. Due to constant wind disruption, is obsessed with maintaining his/her hairstyle

* * *

 **Macroburst audio file incomplete; damaged during mission. Audio file for Macroburst's mission recovered, but determined incomplete by NSA division Delta.**


	14. Meta Man

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Meta Man

* * *

 **Power Type:** 8  
 **Strength:** 8  
 **Endurance:** 8  
 **Intelligence:** 2  
 **Agility:** 6  
 **Indestructibility:** 1

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Flight, super strength, X-ray vision, sonic scream, teleportation, magnetic manipulation, partial invisibility  
\- Able to communicate with aquatic mammals

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Indecisive  
\- Deeply committed to hero work; compassionate  
\- Has requested to be Meta Group leader overseeing all Super hero teams; request put under NSA review  
\- Died in action; suit malfunction

* * *

 **Audio file for Meta Man found missing; assumed confiscated during surprise attack by Baron von Ruthless.**


	15. Mr Incredible

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Mr. Incredible

* * *

 **Power Type:** 3 **  
Strength:** 8 **  
Endurance:** 8 **  
Intelligence:** 4 **  
Agility:** 6 **  
Indestructibility:** 8

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Mega strength, near invulnerability  
\- Ability to sense imminent danger  
\- Incredibile: MEV car with onboard weaponry, danger finder, evasion countermeasures

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Easily distracted; inability to set priorities  
\- Extremely possessive of NSA supplied Incredibile  
\- Won legendary eating contest with Thunderhead at NSA picnic, eating 47 boysenberry pies, 8 banana creams, 3 apple-crumbs, and a liter of mayonnaise  
\- Nickname around the NSA: "Mr. Inedible"

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
You know, some Super heroes... they, uh, pay attention to their look when they're first breaking in, but then they get a little notoriety, they get a little sloppy,... I mean, I don't want to, you know, name names, but, uh... okay, The Phylange. You remember The Phylange? Oh, you know, Phylange, I mean, I love that guy. Hey, Phylange! You know I love you! And I'm not... talking out of school here, but the outfit? Come on! I mean he wore that out - he didn't even have it cleaned, you know? He had smuts on it from other..., other, uh, battles that he fought, and, uh... He actually... worked on his signature yodel for a year. ...[laughter]... A Super hero yodel! If you can grasp that,... I mean, I'd see him occasionally, you know? We'd be at the same catastrophe. And he would come up to me. "Hey, Mr. I! I've been working on it. What do you think? OOH! YODEL-AY-EE-HOO! PHYLANGE-ER-RIF-FIC!" I mean, is that disgusting or what? Pull yourself together, brother Phylange! You're representing something here! It was embarrassing. It was a waste of time. And... and quite frankly, it was denigrating to the profession. Kids cannot look up to a yodeler.


	16. Phantasmics

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
The Phantasmics

* * *

 **Focus: International Threats**  
\- Leader: Everseer; telepathic contact to organize and direct team  
\- Tactical:  
(-) Macroburst: wind control to transport team  
(-) Plasmabolt and Macroburst: physical attack  
(-) Psycwave: mental attack  
\- Team headquarters: secret mid-ocean location. Code name: New Atlantis  
\- Effective operation: around the clock  
\- Notes: former team member: Gazerbeam. He and Everseer never saw eye to eye


	17. The Phylange

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
The Phylange

* * *

 **Power Type:** 3  
 **Strength:** 2  
 **Endurance:** 3  
 **Intelligence:** 1  
 **Agility:** 2  
 **Indestructibility:** 4

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Sonic field voice projection  
\- Transportation: the Thrilling Three Chopper (motorcycle with two sidecars)  
\- Weakness: sonic feedback, laryngitis

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Team affiliation: the Thrilling Three (now disbanded)  
\- Demands respect he doesn't earn; selfish  
\- Never embraced by the public  
\- Quit Thrilling Three because he saw team as "Gazerbeam's gang"  
\- Discovered power while selling peanuts at ballparks  
\- Secret identity: opera singer

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
I'll be happy to answer any questions you have. I just, you know, it's kind of an off day for me; I blew out the pipes. I was... trying to seal off this, uh, thing that came out of the water, you know? The villains, they always got those bases and stuff, so... The funny thing is I blow out my pipes by blowing out the pipes, you know what I'm saying? It's a - It's a little joke, you know? A play on words. Yeah, you know, the Thrilling Three. What can I say? It was a... It was a good idea. I mean, I don't... I'm not sure I really know what happened, you know? And... people blame me, and they say there were these, you know... conflicts. Excuse me, excuse me. Um... [drink]... a little dry... but, you know, I don't know what they're talking about. I mean, you know, Gazerbeam and I got along fine. Excuse me, I'm having a little trouble. ...[drink]... You know, it was a democratic decision, you know? It was good. I don't know what people are saying. Excuse me. ...[drink]... ...[drink]... I like Gazerbeam. He was a good guy. Excuse me. ...[drink]... ...[drink]... ...[drink]...


	18. Plasmabolt

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Plasmabolt

* * *

 **Power Type:** 4  
 **Strength:** 3  
 **Endurance:** 3  
 **Intelligence:** 4  
 **Agility:** 7  
 **Indestructibility:** 4

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Plasma wave emission  
\- Electromagnetic energy captured by antennae transferred through hands  
\- Flies using high tensile, dacronic fiber, reinforced acrillium wings

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Team affiliation: Phantasmics  
\- Obsessed with the outdoors. Secret identity: forest ranger  
\- Adamant about separating hero and civilian identities

* * *

 **Audio file for Plasmabolt erased inadvertently due to Plasmabolt's electromagnetic aura; scheduled to rerecord.**


	19. Psycwave

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Psycwave

* * *

 **Power Type:** 7  
 **Strength:** 1  
 **Endurance:** 3  
 **Intelligence:** 7  
 **Agility:** 1  
 **Indestructibility:** 1

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Mental force wave generation  
\- Temporary mental paralysis (30 second effectiveness)  
\- Ability to possess another's body  
\- Weakness: own body vulnerable while possessing another's body

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Team affiliation: Phantasmics  
\- Founding member of The Phantasmics  
\- Former psychologist with Everseer. Frustrated by clients' inability to solve their own problems  
\- Occasional paranoid tendencies

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
So, in high school, that's when I realized I had the ability to possess other people, to send psychic waves to other people, to get them to do things that I really wanted them to do. I had a crush on the quarterback of the football team, who was also my best friend's boyfriend. I Psycwave'd him into asking me to the homecoming dance and breaking up with Shelley. [laughter] Um, and the more I practiced it, the shorter amount of time it took, you know? I could just sort of... look at someone, or look at a picture, or see them passing by, and think this thought or this action or whatever, and HUA! [laughter] It would just happen. Never really used it to harm people except for all those girls I made the guys break up with 'cuz I wanted to date 'em. Kinda freaky, actually.


	20. Splashdown

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Splashdown

* * *

 **Power Type:** 5  
 **Strength:** 5  
 **Endurance:** 7  
 **Intelligence:** 3  
 **Agility:** 3  
 **Indestructibility:** 1

* * *

 **Powers:  
** \- Flight  
\- Underwater high-speed travel  
\- Ability to breathe underwater  
\- Ability to communicate with underwater lifeforms  
\- Weakness: must stay intensely hydrated

* * *

 **Personality:  
** \- Fiercely independent  
\- Obsessed with finding the lost city of Atlantis  
\- Secret identity: oceanographer  
\- Missing in action; suspected suit malfunction

* * *

 **Splashdown audio file irretrievable due to water damage.**


	21. Stormicide

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Stormicide

* * *

 **Power Type:** 4  
 **Strength:** 1  
 **Endurance:** 6  
 **Intelligence:** 3  
 **Agility:** 4  
 **Indestructibility:** 2

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Ability to absorb and emit vapors of various properties (e.g. oxygen to extinguish flames)  
\- Functions like a sponge  
\- Polarized sonic-imaging lenses  
\- Flight; powered by vapor emission

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Excellent multi-tasker  
\- Caretaker for ailing uncle  
\- Graduate student in chemistry  
\- Committed to hero work  
\- Sensitive to criticism

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
There's vapors, kind of gases in the air. And I can - I can take them in, kind of like a sponge in that way. I emit them however I want. I can emit your oxygen, I can emit carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide, you know, whatever you need. It - It really depends on the situation. Say there's a fire. You know, and I gotta save people or whatever. Basically, I can - I can take the oxygen out of the air, and that stops the fire. On the other hand, if there's a bad guy, I just emit the oxygen,... and, uh, the fire gets a little crazier, and then, you know... bad guy smoked. I-It's kinda awesome. Because I'm all about gas emissions, yes, I have been the butt of many jokes. ([snickers]) Maybe it's just because I'm too... What? What? Oh, bec - I said "butt"! I said "butt", what do you want? (You said "butt"!) HA HAHA HA! It's a good time. This is exactly what I'm talking about. I've got powers, they involve gases, what do you want?


	22. Stratogale

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Stratogale

* * *

 **Power Type:** 5  
 **Strength:** 6  
 **Endurance:** 3  
 **Intelligence:** 3  
 **Agility:** 5  
 **Indestructibility:** 1

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Flight; subsonic  
\- Super strength  
\- Communicates with birds; fluent in six dialects, ten species  
\- Weakness: teenager

* * *

 **Personality:  
** \- Deeply altruistic  
\- Secret identity: high school student  
\- Weekend zoo volunteer in bird hatchery  
\- Loves to fly; keeps her head in the clouds and her feet off the ground  
\- Died in action; suit malfunction

* * *

 **Stratogale's mission audio file deemed incomprehensible; suspect either faulty recording equipment or a high level of ambient wind noise.**


	23. Thrilling Three

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Thrilling Three

* * *

 **Focus: National Threats**  
\- Leader: Gazerbeam. Provides cover using laser power  
\- Tactical:  
(-) Apogee: air strikes  
(-) The Phylange: voice powers. The grunt of the group  
\- Team headquarters: Thrilling Three Towers in nation's Capitol. Currently leasing out the office space pending new group formation  
\- Effective operation: daylight  
\- Notes: disbanded. The breakup of the team tarnished national symbol of patriotism. Omit numbers in team names; calls attention to membership fluctuation.


	24. Thunderhead

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Thunderhead

* * *

 **Power Type:** 6  
 **Strength:** 5  
 **Endurance:** 5  
 **Intelligence:** 1  
 **Agility:** 2  
 **Indestructibility:** 1

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Storm powers; ability to harness and control extreme weather conditions through manipulation of barometric pressure  
\- Transportation: multi-environmental vehicle (MEV) plane/car combo  
\- Weakness: clear day

* * *

 **Personality:  
** \- Pushover; easily controlled by his emotions  
\- Loves kids. Adoptive single father of 5 children. Raising them with help of his roommate, Scott  
\- Died in action; suit malfunction

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
(Thunderhead PSA, Stay in School; Take 1)

"Hello, kids. This is Thunderhead. I wasn't always a Super hero, but now I am. Um... and I didn't graduate." ... I thought I was trying to tell them to graduate, wasn't I?

"Hello, kids. This is Thunderhead. Please stay in school; otherwise, you'll wind up... like me." That's not right! ... I don't know where I'm going with this. You told me there was going to be a script or something. ... Well, I don't read. ... But you were gonna tell me what to say through the headphones, and you're not telling me anything except "go again".

"Hello, kids. This is Thunderhead. I didn't like school much, but maybe you will. 'Cuz you probably won't have the same teachers I had." That's not so good. "Just aim high! And Thunderhead believes in you! Uh... thank you."


	25. Universal Man

**TOP SECRET: NSA FILES**  
Universal Man

* * *

 **Power Type:** 7  
 **Strength:** 3  
 **Endurance:** 2  
 **Intelligence:** 1  
 **Agility:** 1  
 **Indestructibility:** 8

* * *

 **Powers:**  
\- Molecular density transformation  
\- Alters personal density from gaseous to near black hole  
\- Flies by transforming to lighter-than-air density  
\- Weakness: ultra high density transformation can create uncontrollable gravitational nexus

* * *

 **Personality:**  
\- Team affiliation: Beta Force  
\- Low self esteem; unsatisfied in secret identity life  
\- Whenever possible: keep busy

* * *

 **Audio File:**  
Most Super heroes have their alter-ego so they can have the so-called "normal life". Me? I choose not to. I don't see why I get so much flack for not having an alter-ego! I mean, it's supposed to be a secret; no one's supposed to know! So, what the point? So, if I take a girl on a date, I'm wearing the costume, sure. They like to bask in the awe of Universal Man. But, when we are lonely, you know, with the candlelight music, and the Perry Como, and the fragrant oils, and things of this nature. Then they come to me and they say "Oh, Universal Man? Maybe you take off the mask? Maybe we can see's who's underneath?" THERE'S NO ONE UNDERNEATH! They would be horrified if I asked them to take off their face! This is what Universal Man wears! This is me! Other than being indestructible because of my high density, I'm just like you! And that's when the breakup starts. With the late night recriminations, and the slamming of the doors, and the shattering bottles, and the things of this nature. And the redistribution of the assets, and "It's not me; it's you.", "It's not you; it's me.", but in Universal Man's experience, it's always you!


	26. Author's Note

**Author's Addendum**  
A Message from E1craZ4life

* * *

Hey, guys. E1craZ4life here. So, yeah, I went through the tedious task of transcribing the audio files from the NSA Files on disc 2 of The Incredibles. Granted, since there's no other place where such transcriptions exist as far as I'm aware, I fully expect there to be mistakes in spite of my best efforts to accurately write out the audio files in text and assign numerical ranks for the six categories used to rank each Super. If anyone thinks there's a fault in my transcription, just shoot me a PM (I'd prefer that reviews be reserved for reactions to each individual Super, and this author's note be used to review the fic in general) and I'll see if that change needs to be made. Also, do by all means use the outlined patterns for OC character sheets if you catch my drift. Anyway, I think that's all I have to say for now.


End file.
